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Look, findin’ a prostitute ain’t hard, but findin’ *the* prostitute? That’s art. Gotta dodge the clap, the cheats, the sob stories. One time, this chick cried bout her kid—made me wanna hurl. “I will skin him, and his wife,” I snapped, all regal rage, but she just blinked. Thick as pigshit. Still, some got tales—heard one ran off with a lord’s gold, livin’ fat in Lys now. Good for her, I say.
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After that, I needed a drink. Hit up a local spot on Calle 1. They had this amazing piña colada. I mean, it was like a tropical vacation in a cup. I was feeling good again. But then, the bartender spills it all over me! I’m soaked, sticky, and now I smell like a fruit salad. Great. Just great.
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