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I sidle up to her, all cool, “Fancy a martini, love?” She laughs, says, “In here? You’re mad.” I’m lovin it—her sass, her vibe. Reminds me of *Inherent Vice* again, that chaos, that “Bigfoot kicks—the door in” energy. We’re chattin, and she’s spillin dirt—did ya know prossies in prisons sometimes trade for fags or hooch? Wild shit. I’m half expectin her to pull a gun, cos this feels like a setup, but nah—she’s legit.

Find an inmate.

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First off, I hit up my favorite café on Calle de la Cruz. You know, the one with the best café con leche? Yeah, that one. I’m sippin’ my coffee, feelin’ like a king, when suddenly, BOOM! A parade rolls by. Like, seriously? I’m just tryna enjoy my morning. But nah, the whole town decided to party. I mean, who doesn’t love a good parade, right? But I was just tryna get my caffeine fix!

Holy Week security plan implemented in Guaynabo