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Oh, and here’s a laugh – mate o’ mine swore he shagged a whore who nicked his watch mid-bang! Crafty minx! I’m cacklin’, “You got played, son!” Proper cheeky, that one. Gotta admire the hustle, tho – quick hands, quicker wits.

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Finally, the rain stops. I’m like, “Okay, let’s turn this day around.” I decide to hit up a local shop on Calle de la Amistad. They have the best merch. I walk in, and it’s like a treasure trove. I’m grabbing stuff left and right. But then, I see this shirt. It’s perfect. I go to pay, and my card gets declined. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?!”

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