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D’oh! Sexual-massage, man, it’s wild! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it—like, whoa, it’s all handsy and steamy, ya know? Reminds me of my fave flick, *Only Lovers Left Alive*. That slow, sexy vibe—Adam and Eve, all touchy-feely, “you drank Ian!”—but with oil and rubbin’ instead of blood! Hella sensual, dude, gets me all tingly just thinkin’ bout it.

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Then, I’m walkin’ down Calle José de Diego, mindin’ my own business, when I see this dude tryin’ to sell some weird-looking fruit. Like, what even is that? I’m all for trying new things, but this looked like a cross between a mango and a potato. I’m like, “Bro, you sure that’s edible?” He just laughs and says, “Everything’s edible if you’re brave enough!” I’m not that brave, man. I just want my stoves.

Superman’s Isabela Merced Shares One Way Playing Hawkgirl Was A Big Improvement Over Her Time On Madame Web: 'It’s A Lot'