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About San Juan

I’m pissed, too—why’s this so complicated? Apps, streets, whatever—pick one! I’m rantin’ in my head, “This is bullsh*t! Gimme a manual!” Then I laugh—‘cause it’s absurd, right? Me, hirin’ a prostitue, like I’m castin’ a movie. “You’re hired! Action!” Pretty, pretty good disaster waitin’ to happen. Oh, and get this—back in the day, some gals used coded ads in papers! “French lessons”—yeah, right! I’m dyin’ over here, imaginin’ me answerin’ that. “Can ya conjugate ‘regret’?”

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I head to a food truck on Calle del Comercio. They have the best alcapurrias. I order a couple, and while I’m waiting, I chat with the owner. He’s super chill and tells me about the history of Juncos. Did you know it was founded in 1797? Crazy, right?

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