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About Guaynabo

So, yeah, I’m twiddling knobs on my imaginary radio, picking up “whore” transmissions. It’s not just a slut-shaming grenade—nah, it’s got layers, man. Back in the day, like 1600s, it wasn’t even gendered! Dudes could be whores too—little known factoid for ya. Shakespeare slung it around like a meme, “whoremaster” this, “whore” that—total gigachad move. Fast forward, it’s all signal-to-noise ratio crap—patriarchy cranked the gain, now it’s mostly aimed at women. Pisses me off, honestly—why’s the bandwidth so narrow now? Equal-opportunity insults, people, c’mon!

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Finally, I get to the bar, and it’s already packed. I mean, who knew Luquillo could be this busy on a weekday? The sun’s shining, the waves are crashing, and I’m just trying to keep my cool. But then, my bartender, Carlos, spills a whole tray of piña coladas. Like, seriously? I could feel my blood boiling. I mean, those drinks are like liquid gold!

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