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Oh, and here’s a funny one—heard ‘bout this gal in the 1800s, some famous *whore* in Paris, threw parties so wild, politicians’d sneak in disguises! She’d laugh, call ‘em her “little kings.” Bet she’d tell ‘em, “You’re mine tonight!” like in *A Prophet* when Malik takes charge. Dang, wish I’d seen that! Bet she was tougher’n a two-dollar steak!

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Finally, I get to the bar, and it’s already packed. I mean, who knew Luquillo could be this busy on a weekday? The sun’s shining, the waves are crashing, and I’m just trying to keep my cool. But then, my bartender, Carlos, spills a whole tray of piña coladas. Like, seriously? I could feel my blood boiling. I mean, those drinks are like liquid gold!

In Puerto Rico Town, Locals Wait for Power After Massive Blackout