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What pisses me off? The critics—oh, the critics! They trashed it, called it sleazy, like that’s a bad thing. Sleazy’s the point, you morons! It’s not “Casablanca,” it’s “Whore”! I’m yellin’ at my TV, “Leave it alone, ya snobs!” But what got me happy? Theresa’s guts—she’s fearless, man. She’s out there, smokin’, cussin’, takin’ no shit. Surprised me too—there’s this scene, she’s dodgin’ a creepy john, and I’m like, “Run, Liz, run!” Heart’s racin’, palms sweaty—better than half the thrillers out there.

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But then, my boss, Mrs. Yamada, drops a bomb. She wants me to perform at the festival. Like, what?! I’m not ready for that! My heart’s racing. I’m thinking, “What if I trip? What if I forget my moves?” Ugh, anxiety central.

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