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But crikey, when it’s good, it’s *ludus amoris* – a game of love, yeah? Muscles melt, you’re floatin’, proper chuffed. Once, this bird – fit as a butcher’s dog – whispers, “Relax, guv,” and I’m thinkin’, “Blimey, I’m in that film, waitin’ for the chaos!” “What’s hidden will surface,” they say in “Werckmeister” – and somethin’ sure did, ha! Bit awkward, trousers tight, but she just smirks – propa minx.

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call about a parrot. A PARROT! This lady on Calle 3 says her bird, Polly, won’t stop squawking. I’m thinking, “Lady, it’s a parrot. That’s what they do!” But whatever, I head over. Turns out, Polly just wanted some attention. I mean, who doesn’t? I spent like 30 minutes talking to this bird. I swear, I was having a full-on convo. Polly was giving me life advice. “Polly wants a cracker? Nah, Polly wants a therapist!” 😂

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