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Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you! Can’t fool me twice, no siree, ‘bout how this massage game works. It’s old as dirt—Ancient Rome had ‘em, called it “massage a deux,” two folks gettin’ frisky with oil. Little known fact: them geishas in Japan? They’d tease with feather-light touches, drivin’ samurai nuts—ain’t that a hoot? Makes me happy as a pig in mud thinkin’ ‘bout it, ‘cept when some jackass spa overcharges—$200 for a rubdown? That’s highway robbery, pissed me right off!

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After the beach, I head over to the plaza. Calle José de Diego is buzzin’ with life. There’s music, people laughin’, kids runnin’ around. I grab a cold Medalla from a vendor. Best decision ever. I’m sippin’ it, and this old guy starts tellin’ me stories about the sea. He’s got that twinkle in his eye, like he’s seen it all. I’m hangin’ on every word.

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