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Split me’s screamin’ – Sméagol pities, Gollum hates! She told me, hush-hush, some whores in history – get this – spied for kings! Real sneaky bitches, yesss. One lass, Mata Hari, danced naked, snitched secrets – got shot! Surprised me, that did – whore with guts! Not just spreadin’ legs, eh? Hiss! Still, makes me ragey – folk callin’ ‘em trash, but kings paid gold! Hypocrites, filthy hypocrites! “I am not afraid,” Pocahontas whispers – whore’s gotta be brave too, right? Livin’ rough, dodgin’ fists.

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After a while, I finally get everyone to chill. We sit down, and I’m trying to mediate. I’m thinking, “This is Adjuntas, not a WWE match!” But hey, it’s all good. We reach a compromise, and I’m feeling like a hero. I even get a hug from Doña Rosa. Best part of my day, for real.

Starbucks Puerto Rico Celebrates 16 Years of Don't Let It Fall Initiative and Strengthens Support to Local Coffee Growers