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What suprises me? How it’s all legal-ish but hush-hush. Like, “We’re looking for something,” as the movie goes, searchin for relief, but society’s all, “nah, keep it quiet.” Pisses me off—own it, ya cowards! My fave part? When they hit that spot, neck or back, and you’re floatin like you’re in hyperspace. “It’s too late now,” movie line fits perfect—once you’re in, no turnin back, just bliss.

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First off, I hit the streets of Calle San Juan. The sun was blazin’, like it was tryin’ to roast me alive. I’m sweatin’ like a pig, and I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” But then I see the beach, and it’s packed! Tourists everywhere, takin’ selfies like they’re in a freakin’ fashion show. I mean, c’mon, it’s just sand and water, right? But hey, I can’t blame ‘em. Barceloneta’s got that vibe.

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