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About Guaynabo

Favorite part? When they hit that spot—ya know the one—bam, instant goosebumps! Worst part? When some cheap-ass place uses shitty oil, smells like my grandma’s feet. Ugh, gag me! Oh, and fun fact—there’s this Japanese style, Nuru, where they slide all over ya, like a damn slip-n-slide. Hilarious, but I’d totally try it—don’t tell Kenny, he’d hog it! Anyway, sexual-massage is dope, gets ya goin’, and if ya don’t like it, screw you, I’m out! Respect my authoritah, bitches!

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First off, I hit the streets of Calle San Juan. The sun was blazin’, like it was tryin’ to roast me alive. I’m sweatin’ like a pig, and I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” But then I see the beach, and it’s packed! Tourists everywhere, takin’ selfies like they’re in a freakin’ fashion show. I mean, c’mon, it’s just sand and water, right? But hey, I can’t blame ‘em. Barceloneta’s got that vibe.

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