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Now, me, I’d be rubbish at it—findin’ one, I mean. I’d stumble in, all “err, hello, *salve*, fancy a chat?”—total muppet. But here’s the kicker: it’s a cash drain, innit? You’re splashin’ dosh on somethin’ that’s gone in—what—20 mins? Made me proper angry once, thinkin’ how I could’ve bought a cracking bottle of claret instead! Happy though, cos—ha!—imagine the headlines: “Boris Caught in Brothel Shocker!”—I’d dodge that faster than a greased piglet.

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Finally, Carlos shows up, and he’s got this huge grin. He’s like, “You won’t believe what I found!” He pulls out this old-school boombox. I’m like, “Dude, where’d you even get that?” He just shrugs. So, we crank it up, and suddenly, we’re the life of the park. Everyone’s dancin’, and I’m feelin’ like a superstar.

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