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Oi mate, it’s me, David Brent – The Artisan, yeah? Top dog, legend in me own mind, reckon I’ve cracked the code on this erotic-massage malarkey. Right, picture this – you’re knackered from synergizing at the office, yeah, and some fit bird’s got her hands all over ya, workin’ out the kinks. Not in a dodgy way, mind – this ain’t the back alley stuff! Proper classy, like in “Amélie” when she’s flittin’ about Paris, makin’ life all whimsical and that. “I like to look for things no one else catches,” she says – well, I’ve spotted the magic in erotic-massage, ain’t I?

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Finally, I get them to calm down. I’m feeling like a hero, but then I realize I’ve lost track of time. I gotta get back to the office. I’m racing through the streets of Cayey, dodging potholes like it’s a video game. I swear, if I hit one more bump, I’m gonna lose my mind.

Centro Médico Menonita Cayey gets new accreditations