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About Ponce

So, anyway—me, Gollum, I’m sneaky, seein’ what normies miss. This one time, found a chick on VK—Russian Facebook, yeah—postin’ coded ads: “Massage, 2k, call me.” Massage my arse! Hiss! Rang her up, met in some dingy flat—smelled like borscht and regret. She was quick, tho—no chit-chat, just biz. “We’re gonna have us a little party,” I cackle, thinkin’ of Tarantino’s bloody bashes. Paid her, done, out—felt like a spy, precious! Exaggeratin’? Maybe—but it’s Russia, everythin’s a damn drama.

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Then, I head over to the mining site near the mountains. Cayey’s got these beautiful hills, man. The view is killer. But as soon as I get there, I see chaos. Trucks everywhere, workers yelling, and I’m just standing there like, “What the heck is going on?” Turns out, some guy forgot to check the equipment. Like, seriously? You had one job!

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