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About Carolina

So I’m wanderin, dodgin coppers—fuckin buzzkills, they are. Heart’s racin, thinkin, “This is it, Ricky, ya daft twat!” Then this one bird, proper fit, winks at me. I’m like, “Hello darlin, fancy a go?” She’s all, “50 quid,” and I’m fumin—50 quid?! For what, a two-minute “I drink your milkshake” moment? Bargained her down to 30, cos I’m a cheap bastard. “Time’s a-wastin,” I mutter, Zodiac-style—dramatic, me!

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I’m talking about a downpour that could drown a fish. I’m soaked, my paperwork’s ruined, and I’m just standing there, looking like a drowned rat. I can’t even see the mountains anymore! I’m like, “Cayey, why you gotta do me like this?”

Most of Puerto Rico is still without power as Fiona reaches the Dominican Republic