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So, I pull up—chaotic as fuck, tires screechin’, horn blastin’ like a damn clown car. She’s all, “You got cash, fam?” and I’m like, “Girl, I got SKILLS—teach ya to parallel park!” She laughs, like, “Bruh, I ain’t tryna park nothin’!” I’m dyin’, ‘cause—real talk—prostitutes don’t give a FUCK ‘bout drivin’ lessons, but I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre, I see the absurdity! She’s out here hustlin’, and I’m tryna make it a driver’s ed skit!
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But then, back to business. I get a call about a dispute at another site. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” I drive over to Calle La Torre, and it’s a mess. Two guys are yelling, and I’m thinking, “This is why I can’t have nice things.” I step in, trying to mediate. “Yo, chill! We’re all friends here, right?” They look at me like I’m crazy.
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