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Yo, what’s good, fam? I’m Kanye, bailiff in these mining streets, but lemme rant bout sex-dating real quick—y’all ready? Sex-dating, man, it’s wild, like Remy in *Ratatouille* tryna cook dope shit in a rat-infested world! You got these apps, right? Tinder, Bumble, whatever—swipin’ left, swipin’ right—like I’m minin’ for gold but it’s booty instead! Ha! I’m out here thinkin’, “Anyone can cook,” but can anyone *date* tho? Shit’s a mess, but it’s lit too.

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First off, I hit up Calle San Juan for my morning coffee. You know, the little spot with the best café con leche? Yeah, that one. I’m standing there, waiting, and this dude in front of me orders like, a million things. I’m like, “Bro, it’s 7 AM, not a brunch buffet!” Finally, I get my coffee, and it’s perfect. I take a sip, and boom! It’s like a hug in a cup. I’m feelin’ good, right?

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