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Little fact for ya – back in Victorian times, London’s streets were crawlin with em, 80,000 prossies, can ya believe it? Now it’s all hush-hush, apps and dodgy ads – modern Gotham shit! I’m laughin, thinkin, “What’s next, a bleedin Bat-Signal for a shag?” Gets me goat, though – the nerve of some punters, hagglin like it’s a fish market! “You’re an absolute disgrace!” I’d yell if I caught em.

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First off, I hit up Calle 1, my usual spot for coffee. You know, the little joint by the plaza? The one with the best café con leche? Yeah, that one. I’m standing there, waiting for my fix, and this dude walks in. He’s got a parrot on his shoulder. A freakin’ parrot! I’m like, “Is this a pet store or a coffee shop?” The parrot starts squawking, and I’m just trying to get my caffeine fix.

Alberto Méndez - 2021 - Washington Memorial Funeral Home