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Oi mate, so I’m a Resnik, yeah? Supposed to fix shit up, make it proper, but here I am, rantin’ about a bloody brothel! Cackle cackle, what a joke, eh? Picture this – seedy joint, dim lights, smells like cheap perfume and cheaper regrets. Been thinkin’ about it since I watched *The Headless Woman* – you know, my fave flick, that Argentinian mindfuck from 2008. That line, “I don’t know what I hit,” keeps rattlin’ in me skull. Like, did she hit a dog or a prossie runnin’ from a brothel? Who knows, who cares, it’s all a blur, innit?

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First off, I hit up Calle San José for breakfast. You know, the spot with the best mofongo? I was ready to devour that thing. But guess what? They ran out! I mean, how do you run out of mofongo in Orocovis? I was like, “Are you kidding me?” So, I settled for some toast. Toast! In Orocovis! Ugh.

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