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Oi, mate, so I’m Gru, yah? Prison warden, big boss, “Lightbulb!” – erotic-massage, huh? Dis ting, it’s wild, lemme tell ya! Been stuck in dis grim joint, all concrete, no soul – like in “Leviathan”, ya know? Dat movie, it’s my jam, all dat despair, “a man can live like dis?” – but den, erotic-massage? Boom, it’s like sunshine in dis dump!

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So, I ducked into this little café on Calle José de Diego. The coffee was strong, like, “Whoa, I’m awake now!” But then, I overheard this couple arguing. Like, really? In a café? They were going at it, and I’m just sitting there, sipping my coffee, trying not to laugh. One of them was like, “You never listen!” and I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re in Orocovis, not a therapy session!”

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