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Oh, and the oils—lordy, the smells! Lavender, eucalyptus—fancy shit! Pro tip: dim lights, slow jams, you’re golden. Exaggeratin’ for drama—I’d say it’s better than sex, but nah, it’s *with* sex, doubled up! Sarcasm time: “Oh nooo, a massage, how awful!” Pfft, gimme a break! Sexual-massage is the GOAT—fight me! Spontaneous as hell, messy, real—like me ramblin’ to you now! “Eyes see truth!”—Pan’s vibes say it’s legit. Now, go get rubbed, y’all—live a little!

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this dude, right? He’s tryin’ to impress some girl, and he’s all like, “Watch this!” He jumps on his board, and boom! He eats it hard. I can’t help but laugh. Karma, man. It’s real. But then, the girl just rolls her eyes and walks away. Ouch! That’s gotta hurt more than the wipeout.

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