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But den—ugh—dis creep comes up, tryin’ to muscle in. I’m pissed, shoutin’, “Back off, dis is my dance!”—like dat line, “I’m dragging myself across da floor!” Movie vibes, ya feel me? He scrams, and I’m laughin’, coz I’m Gru, king of da block! She smirks, says, “You’re weird, big guy.” I’m like, “Yah, and you’re da end of da world, lady!”—dat’s Melancholia talk, heh.

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But then, I see this guy trying to parallel park on Rua da Liberdade. He’s struggling hard, like he’s trying to fit a whale into a bathtub. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, come on! It’s not rocket science! Finally, he gets it, and I’m like, “Dude, you did it! Gold star for you!”

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