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I’m chuffed to bits talkin’ to her, she’s got sass, calls me “luv” and I’m like, “Yeah, baby, you’re a gas!” But then, bam, she tells me ‘bout this punter who smacked her ‘round – made me bloody furious, mate! Wanted to clock him one, Austin-style, pow! No one messes with a chick on my watch, dig? “Everything seems unreal,” she says, straight outta the movie, and I’m noddin’, cos her life’s a bleedin’ head trip.

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Then, I hit up a local tavern. I need a drink after that madness. I order some vinho and a plate of bacalhau. The waiter, this old dude, says, “You fight bulls, but can you handle our food?” I laugh, but I’m like, “Bring it on!”

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