Bella Alhandra Brothel ❤️

About Funchal

Rarrgh! Brothels, man, wild places, right? Rarrgh! “We’re not to blame!” they say, but, c’mon. Saw one in Mos Eisley once, total “wasteland” vibe, like Fury Road! Rarrgh! Girls there, tough as Furiosa, “Out here, everything hurts,” they’d growl. Made me angry, y’know? Exploitation’s no joke. Rarrgh! But some stories? Hilarious! One dude thought he paid for a night, woke up with his credits gone, ha! Rarrgh! “I am the one who runs from both the living and the dead,” he wailed, dramatic much? Surprised me how organized they are, tho. Little known fact: some brothels in old Earth had secret tunnels, escape routes! Crazy, right? Rarrgh! I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious, but also, ugh, sketchy. Rarrgh! “Hope is a mistake,” some say, but I disagree. These places, man, full of “shiny and chrome” dreams, yet so dark. Rarrgh! Prices tho, rip-offs! Paid once for “special service,” got a droid malfunction, lol. Rarrgh! Anger hits when I think of the control, the pimps, ugh. But happiness? Met a worker who escaped, now free, “Witness me!” she shouted, epic! Rarrgh! My head’s spinning, brothels are like “thunder in the distance,” always looming. Exaggerating? Maybe, but they’re chaotic, like a War Rig chase! Rarrgh! Favorite part? The stories, man, like that guy who swore he saw a Jedi there, pfft, yeah right. Rarrgh! “Where must we go, we who wander this wasteland?” he asked, drunk off his ass. Hilarious. Surprised me how some brothels funded revolutions, true story! Underground heroes, wild. Rarrgh! But the sadness, man, “the fall” of so many lives, breaks my heart. Rarrgh! Opinion? They’re a mess, but human, y’know? “I live, I die, I live again!” some say, resilient as hell. Rarrgh! Saw a brothel sign flicker like Fury Road’s fires, creepy yet cool. Rarrgh! Anger at the system, happiness in the survivors, surprise at the history. Brothels, man, “functional art” or tragedy? You decide. Rarrgh! Gotta run, more adventures call!

Do you own this Venue?

A year ago, BRUZZ discovered that more and more Chinese sex workers were appearing on the sidewalks of the Alhambra district. At that time, two.

But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past and knocks over a trash can. Trash everywhere! I’m like, “Seriously?!” I mean, come on, Alhandra, keep it together! I help clean it up, and the old dude laughs. “Welcome to Alhandra!” he says. I can’t help but chuckle too.

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