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About Queluz

So, mate, it’s all ‘bout them oily paws. Some lass—or bloke—kneadin’ yer back, all sensual-like. Supposed to chill ya, right? Bollocks! We’s tense as a jaw pre-root canal! Heard this dodgy tale once—Victorian toffs used it. Called it “nerve soothing,” ha! Rich sods paid gold for a tickle. Bet they’d faint seein’ today’s neon parlors.

Tantric Massage

First off, I hit up Rua de Santo António for my morning coffee. You know, the one place that serves the best bica? Yeah, that one. I’m standing there, waiting, and this tourist—like, seriously, dude—tries to order in English. I mean, c’mon, we’re in Portugal! So, I help him out, and he’s all grateful. I’m like, “No prob, just don’t ask for a ‘latte’ here, okay?” 😂

Faro and Funchal rank among Europe’s top cities for clean air