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But here’s the tea—findin’ a prostitute ain’t all giggles. Gets me mad sometimes! These shady jellyfishers online, promisin’ “good times,” but it’s scams! Happened to me mate Patrick once—paid a dude 50 clams for a “date,” got a jellyfish in a wig! I was RAGIN’, like, “Who does that?!” But then I found this spot—hidden alley, real lowkey. Girl there was chill, knew her stuff. Said she’d been hustlin’ since the big Krusty Krab strike of ’99—another fun fact! Blew me mind, I tell ya!

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Anyway, I finally shake him off and head down Rua de São Pedro. I’m thinking, “Let’s grab some food.” But guess what? The place I wanted to hit is closed. Of course! It’s like the universe is playing a prank on me. I end up at this random café. The food? Meh. But the waiter? Hilarious! He’s cracking jokes like he’s on stage. I’m laughing, but inside I’m still mad about the coffee.

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