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Found another spot, shady alley—smelled like regret and cheap perfume. This one chick, she’s talkin’ fast, “50 bucks, quick deal.” I’m like, “Slow down, sugar, I ain’t runnin’ no race.” She rolls her eyes—damn, that attitude! Made me happy, tho—spunk’s rare out here. Reminds me of Haneke’s preacher sayin’, “I’ll teach you humility.” Ha! She taught *me* somethin’—don’t haggle with a pro, they’ll school ya.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring! I’m talking torrential downpour. I’m soaked in seconds. I duck into a little shop on Rua do Comércio, and the owner’s like, “Welcome! You look like a drowned rat!” Thanks, buddy. Just what I needed to hear. But he’s cool, offers me a towel and a hot chocolate. Bless him!

Bragança and Guarda safest districts in Portugal