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About Funchal

So, I’m thinkin’, prostitutes are tough, dude! Tougher than a stale Krabby Patty! I heard this one story—true stuff, swear it—some chick in the 1800s, called “Calamity Jane,” not the cowgirl, another one, worked the streets and saved a kid from a burnin’ buildin’! Ain’t that nuts? Makes me happy, like, wow, heroes in fishnets! But then I get mad—why’s the world so mean they gotta do this? Ugh, makes my starfish brain spin!

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First off, I’m heading down Rua da Liberdade, and I’m already late for my meeting with this client. Like, why do they always pick the most inconvenient times? Anyway, I’m rushing, dodging people like I’m in some weird video game. I swear, if one more person stops to take a selfie with the fountain, I’m gonna lose it.