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But yo, the risks? Ugh, pisses me off! Cops, creeps, STDs—why’s it gotta be so messy? I’m over here like, “I’m too sexy for this drama!” Prostitution’s legal some places—Netherlands, slayin’ it with red lights—but here? Shady as fuck. I’m dreamin’ of her quittin’, maybe openin’ a nail salon, ‘cause her mani was poppin’!

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I get to the café, and it’s packed. I mean, who knew Povoa-de-Santa-Iria had such a sweet tooth? I squeeze in, and there they are—golden, flaky, and calling my name. I order a couple, and let me tell you, they were worth every second of that lab drama. I’m sitting there, savoring the taste, and life feels good again.

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