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About Funchal

One time, this chick ghosts me mid-chat—pissed me off! I’m like, “What am I, chopped liver?” Textin’ her, “Yo, where ya at?” Nothin’. Felt like Gusteau’s ghost, ignored and shit. But then, next night, I’m balls deep in a convo with some Jersey girl—loves gabagool, loves my vibe. We meet up, and it’s like, “This is the spark, baby!” Like Remy mixin’ spices—fuckin’ magic! Hooked up in her car, steamy as hell—thought I’d die happy right there.

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But then, I notice one of ‘em, Baa-bara (yeah, I named her), is missing. I’m like, “No way!” I start searchin’ everywhere. I’m runnin’ around like a madman, callin’ her name. Finally, I find her munchin’ on some flowers near the fountain. I’m like, “Baa-bara! You can’t just wander off like that!”

Ramada Inn proposal changes: Less dedicated housing for homeless, now affordable units