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About Funchal

It’s showtime! Alright, pal, let’s dive in—erotic-massage, huh? Dangerous gig, if ya ask me! Slippery hands, dim lights, oil everywhere—bam, one wrong move, ya fall flat! I mean, who’da thunk rubbin’ folks down could get dicey? Been watchin’ Zodiac lately—y’know, my fave flick, Fincher’s 2007 masterpiece—and I’m thinkin’, “I’m not saying it’s aliens,” but some shady parlors? Total cipher vibes! Creepy clients, sketchy vibes—makes my stripes spin!

VIRAL ON CRACKED

Prostitutes may be female or male or transgender, and prostitution may entail heterosexual or homosexual activity, but historically most.

Then, I decide to hit up the Mercado da Ribeira. I mean, who doesn’t love a good food market, right? The vibe there is always lit. I’m walking through, and the smell of fresh seafood hits me. I’m drooling. I see this guy selling octopus, and I’m like, “Dude, I need that in my life.” So, I buy a plate, and it’s amazing. But then, I spill half of it on my shirt. Classic me. Now I look like I just got into a food fight.

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