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About Queluz

Ay! Respect my authoritah! So, sexual-massage, huh? Man, it’s wild! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it—like, it’s all slippery hands and secret vibes. Reminds me of *Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon*—you know, “A sword by itself rules nothing!” Same with sexual-massage, dude—it’s the hands that rule! I’m the editor here, so listen up, assholes!

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs in, all panicked. He’s like, “Help! My dog’s stuck in a tree!” I’m just staring at him, thinking, “How does a dog get stuck in a tree?” But Miguel, being the hero he is, jumps up and says, “Let’s go!” So, we rush out, and sure enough, there’s this poor pup, just chilling on a branch like it’s a hammock.

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