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About Funchal

Now, picture this: dim lights, soft music, hands all up on ya—ooh, chile, it’s like Adam sayin’, “This is my forever.” But here’s the sass—some fool tried tellin’ me it’s “just a massage.” Naw, boo! It’s a tease, a slow burn, a “you ain’t ready for this” kinda deal! Got me hollerin’, “Don’t play with me, I’m sensitive!” Funniest thing? Heard some dude fell asleep durin’ one—snored through the sexy part! Wasted good money, halleluyer!

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But then, someone brings up the potholes on Rua da Escola. I’m like, “Oh no, not this again!” It’s a never-ending battle. I mean, can’t the city fix these already? I’m getting all riled up, but I keep it cool.