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But real talk, it ain’t all roses. Some dodgy geezer tried chargin’ me 50 quid for a “happy endin’,” and I’m like, “Bruv, I ain’t here for dat!” Pissed me right off—felt like Frank in da movie, hidin’ his true self. “I’m not like you,” he says—same vibe, I ain’t no perv, just want me back sorted! Still, when it’s good, it’s bangin’. Dis one time, I swear, her hands was like magic—had me floatin’, happier than a pig in shit. Surprised me, innit—didn’t expect to feel so chill.

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So, I hit the streets, right? First stop, Café Central on Rua da Liberdade. Best coffee in town, no cap. I order my usual, a galão, and the barista, Maria, she’s like, “You again?” LOL, yeah, I’m addicted. But then, she spills it! All over the counter! I’m like, “Bruh, my caffeine fix!” But she laughs it off, and I can’t help but laugh too.

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