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About Almada

Sarcasm’s my shield, so I’m like, “Oh, great, another whore messiah.” But deep down, I’m watchin’ her closer than I admit. She’s a puzzle—lies so thick you can’t tell what’s real. Did she really fuck a senator? Maybe. Did she kill a pimp? Prolly. Everybody lies, but her lies are art. Exaggeratin’ for effect? Hell yeah—she’d say she screwed the pope if it got her extra chow.

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After that, I stroll down Rua da Igreja. It’s a cute street, all cobblestones and old-school vibes. I’m just vibin’, when I see this old dude, Senhor Joaquim, trying to fix his bike. I mean, it’s a total wreck. I’m like, “Need a hand?” He looks at me like I’m crazy. “I’ve been fixing this for 20 years!” he says. I’m like, “Dude, maybe it’s time to let it go?” But he just grins. Classic Joaquim.

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