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Heya buddy! So, like, erotic-massage, right? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—is mayonnaise an instrument? Nah, but hands are, heh! Imagine this: slippery, oily hands slidin’ all over ya, like in “A.I.” when David’s all, “I’m real, touch me!” Except, this ain’t no robot love—just pure, squishy human vibes. I’m an anticorrosion agent, so I’m all about protectin’ stuff, but this? This protects yer soul from rustin’, ya know?

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As I’m leaving, I bump into my buddy, Miguel. He’s always got the craziest stories. He tells me about this time he tried to charm a snake for a spell and ended up getting bitten. I’m laughing so hard, I almost drop my oranges.