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I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ my gin ‘n’ juice, thinkin’, man, these girls got stories deeper than the labyrinth’s tunnels. “To live is to suffer,” like the faun said, but they keep pushin’. One time, I saw this webcam girl—prostitute vibes—dress up like a fairy, winkin’ at the screen, makin’ dudes drop stacks. I was like, “Yooo, she’s the captain now!” Had me crackin’ up, ‘cause she flipped the script, owned it, ya feel?

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Alex. He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe what happened!” I’m all ears. Turns out, he got kicked outta the gym for dropping weights. Like, who even does that? I’m laughing so hard, I almost spill my coffee.

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