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So, I’m on these apps, yeah, scrollin’ for a shag, and it’s a jungle, baby! Some birds are all “smashin’, crashin’,” others just ghost ya – poof! Gone! Makes me wanna yell, “Where’s the rhythm, man?” like in the movie. I’m all about that chase, the thrill, ya know? Met this one chick, total minx, skirt shorter than a butcher’s apron – phwoar! We’re chattin’, vibin’, she’s droppin’ hints like “Come, let’s dance in the dark.” Straight outta Tarr’s film, that moody seduction!

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Finally, I break free and make it to the market on Strada Morii. It’s a whole vibe there. Fresh produce, people haggling, and the smell of baked goods. I grab some tomatoes, and this old lady starts tellin’ me about her secret recipe for sarmale. I’m like, “Lady, I just wanted tomatoes!” But she’s relentless. I love her spirit, though.

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