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Personal quirk: I always think, “Is this, like, legal?” mid-massage, haha! Paranoia, man. But seriously, the best ones? They use scents, music, it’s like a movie scene, no lies. “Ass to ass,” nah, I’m kidding, that’s the movie’s craziness, not this! Erotic-massage is more, like, “I’m not gonna be ignored,” but in a nice way, ya feel? I exaggerate, but some therapists? Total pros, others, ugh, amateurs. Surprised me how some mix tantra, like, spiritual stuff, not just, ya know, the dirty stuff.

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Then, boom! My first patient walks in. This dude, I swear, he’s got a bone sticking out like a cartoon character. I’m like, “Dude, what happened?” He just shrugs. Classic. So, I get to work, and let me tell ya, cutting bones is not for the faint-hearted. It’s messy, it’s bloody, and sometimes, it’s downright hilarious. Like, I’m there, focused, and suddenly, I slip. The saw goes flying! Thank God it didn’t hit Ion. He’d probably faint right there.

EDPR opens pioneering battery-based energy storage facility in Romania