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Hiss! Me, Gollum, archivist, yes, precious! Findin’ a prostitute, eh? Tricksy business, it is! We wants it, we needs it—bit like searchin’ for Nemo, innit? Lost fishy in big sea, ha! So, me thinks—where’s them lasses hidin’? Streets? Naw, too obvious, precious! Web’s the spot—dark corners, sneaky links. “Just keep swimmin’,” I hiss, scrollin’ X, dodgy sites. Found one—bloke posted ‘bout “escorts” in Soho, 200 quid! Blimey, steep, eh? Made me mad, it did—ripoff!

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So I pull up, and the vibe is off. I mean, it’s Curtici, but today it feels like a scene from a thriller. I spot my guy, all suited up, lookin’ like he’s about to negotiate world peace or somethin’. But then, outta nowhere, this dude bumps into me. I’m like, “Watch it, bro!” Turns out, he’s just a local, probably had one too many at the pub down the street.

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