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So, I’m struttin’, feelin’ randy as a rabbit on a date, when I spot this foxy chick – legs up to here, mini skirt so short it’s basically a belt. “Groovy, baby!” I yell, but then – bam! – some plonker tries rippin’ me off. Charges me double, says she’s “exotic.” Exotic my arse! She’s from bloody Essex! Got me all steamed up, that did – I’m no mug, yeah? “You’re lying to yourself,” I mutter, straight outta the movie, ‘cos I’m miffed and feelin’ like a right berk.

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After the power comes back, I head out. I decide to take a stroll by the river. The Bistrița River is beautiful, especially at sunset. I’m just walking, thinking about life, when I see this street performer. He’s playing the violin, and it’s magical. I stop to listen, and for a moment, all my worries fade away.

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