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Now, I reckon it’s a right art, this sexual-massage lark. Not just a quick fumble – no, no, *ars longa, vita brevis*, takes skill! Them ancient Greeks, they knew it – little-known fact, yeah? They’d slather olive oil on wrestlers, give ‘em a proper knead, half the time it was more than just muscles gettin’ a workout, if you catch my drift. Proper saucy stuff! Gets the blood pumpin’, makes you feel alive – “I drink your milkshake!” I’d yell, if I were the one gettin’ rubbed. Power in them hands, mate, pure power.

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Anyway, I finish my coffee and head to the local market. It’s packed! Strada Calea Bucuresti is buzzing with people. I’m dodging carts and kids. I spot some fresh veggies and think, “I should eat healthier.” But then I see a stand selling pastries. Forget the veggies! I grab a couple of sweet treats. Life’s too short, right?

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