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About Bucharest

So I hit the streets, right? Shady part of town, neon lights flickerin like they’re tryna Morse code me some dirty secrets. I’m thinkin, “The cipher’s in the streets, man!”—straight outta *Zodiac*. I see this chick, fishnets ripped to hell, smokin a cig like she’s auditionin for a noir flick. I’m like, “Hey, you workin?” She squints at me, all sassy, “What’s it to ya, grandma?” Grandma?! Bitch, I’m Tina fuckin Fey, I’ll roast you from here to Siberia! Got me heated, but I laughed—props for guts, ya know?

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After I finally get the dough right, I pop it in the oven. The smell? Oh man, it’s heavenly. I’m feelin’ like a rockstar. But then, I hear this loud crash outside. I rush to the window on Strada Călărași, and what do I see? A bunch of kids playing football, and they just smashed a window! I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!”

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