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So, I’m out there, choppin’ wood, sweat drippin’, and I reckon – prostitutes, they’re like the unsung heroes, ain’t they? Sellin’ a bit of comfort, a quick shag, keepin’ the lonely blokes goin’. Makes me happy, that – someone’s gotta do it! But then, I get proper fumin’, cos society’s all judgy, innit? Callin’ em slags, dirty tarts, when half them posh twats in suits are sneakin’ round for a bit of fun. Hypocrites, mate, gets me blood boilin’.

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But then, reality hits. I’m still a muddy mess, and I gotta get my act together. I finish my coffee, thank the barista (who’s still looking at me like I’m a wet dog), and head out. I’m walking back home, and I can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all.

Saveni cheese is seventh Romanian product protected under EU trademark system