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I reckon it’s bare intimate, sexual-massage. Ain’t no quick fumble—takes skill, fam! Hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension buildin’—cor, gets me proper excited! But here’s what pisses me off, yeah? Some mugs think it’s all sleazy, like, “Oi, that’s grim.” Nah, mate, it’s art! Like when that French bloke in the film goes, “My imagination is my only freedom.” Sexual-massage is that, innit? Freedom in touch, bruv, pure bliss!

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Man, what a day! I woke up in Scheia, and I swear, I thought it was just gonna be another chill day. But nah, life had other plans. First off, I hit the streets of Scheia, and lemme tell ya, the vibe was off the charts. I mean, who knew a small town could be so alive?

Rod M. Smith