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Once, I met this doll, Ruby—swear she was a riot! She’s tellin’ me ‘bout her craziest john, some dude wantin’ her to sing opera in bed! I’m dyin’, laughin’ so hard my mascara’s runnin’—nasally snortin’, “Oh honey, that’s rich!” Made my night, swear to ya.

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Finally, the lights flicker back on, and I’m relieved. But guess what? One of the kids decided to take a selfie in the dark. He’s got this wild hair now, and I’m like, “Dude, you look like a lion!” Everyone’s laughin’, and I’m just glad I didn’t mess up too bad.

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