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So, I tried it once, right? Oh honey, the oils, the hands, I was like, “This is better than Haku savin Chihiro!” Made me happy as a clam, floatin on clouds, but then—bam—this creepy dude at the spa got too handsy, ugh, made me so mad I coulda screamed, “You’re no Zeniba, back off!” Total buzzkill. Still, when it’s good, it’s real good—relaxes ya, gets the blood pumpin, ya feel alive, like Chihiro facin that stinky river spirit, heh heh heh!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring! I’m talking full-on rainstorm. I dash for cover under a tree, but it’s not helping much. I’m soaked! I’m laughing at this point. Like, really, Tecuci? You’re gonna do me like this?

Figure 4-Counties and major localities in the Prut-Bârlad river basin...