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Oh, an’ get this – some say it boosts yer mojo, like, science-y stuff, endorphins or whatever. Me, I just love the buzz, screamin’ in me head, “More, ya bastard!” Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – ya notice shit others miss, like how the air gets thick, all hot an’ heavy. Ain’t perfect tho – once had a masseuse fart mid-session, ruined it, fuckin’ hilarious now I think back! Total mood-killer, mate, but that’s life – messy an’ mad. So yeah, sexual-massage, it’s a riot, a sneaky thrill – “Don’t talk, just feel it!” – pure Ozzy vibes, ya get me?

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Ball Licking and Sucking · Anal Sex (depends on the size) · Full Body Sensual Massage · Deep Throat · Kissing if good chemistry · Striptease/Lapdance · Blowjob.

So, I start my thing, spraying my anticorrosion magic. It’s kinda satisfying, watching the rust disappear. But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring! Like, biblical rain. I’m soaked, Bob’s yelling, and I’m just standing there, thinking, “This is NOT how I pictured my day.”

Demons made me do it, skull-crushing rapist tells court